Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Holy sore nipples Batman
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
