oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
