my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
