absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
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