Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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