She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
