after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
