If i come over, it means nothing
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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