I hate all girls vehemently.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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