I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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