I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
