i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
