So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
