OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
My pussy is not your playground.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
