When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
