They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
