ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
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