Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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