so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
