if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
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We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
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And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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