I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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