she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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