I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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