The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
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He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
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I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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