Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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