Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
