I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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