wakey wakey hands off snakey
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
