dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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