Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
