Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
