That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
