I want to stick my p in your. b.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
