Quick, to the slutcave!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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