Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
