My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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