I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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