Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
