They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
