i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
