So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I think my fart just growled at me.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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