Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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