Me too!
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
