wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
