What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
