You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
