i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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