do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
