are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
