i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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