i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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