so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
