I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
