oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
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Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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