return my video game
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
