I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
