I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
