I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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