Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
