i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize