thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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